It's a pain in the ass always having anxiety when I walk in a room and leave because I think everyone there is talking about me.
And the times when no one responds to me when I say something and I think they're mad at me and get stressed out, when they honestly just didn't hear me.
Oh and my all time favorite is the hallucinations. When I'm walking in crowds, I always imagine someone I know in a random person I've never met. Sort of like a mirage but in the form of people.
So on one hand, who would want to get rid of something like that....but who wouldn't want to get rid of something like that.
I always feel like I have something to hide. I hate that I get so stressed out being around a lot of people, or even some days, everyone in general.
I hate my friends think I don't care about them because I'm distant. I'm just sad for no reason sometimes and I can't explain it and sometimes you have to just let me be.
So honestly, even if I had the money to afford my medicine, I can't say for sure I would take it.
Even though many days I hate who I am for frivolous reasons, they're my frivolous schizo reasons and I would never want to lose who I am to please another person....
(and yes I did just have to go back and edit this so the end would have an even amount of periods. haha
